Donna's Blog

ME? OLD?

2006-07-16T14:36:00.000-07:00

I have been waiting such a long time to feel like an adult. Recently I was shocked to realize not only am I an adult, I am a middle aged adult! What?!?! how could this happen? But sure enough several things happened in the recent past to make me feel my age.
Don't get me wrong! I know I'm not THAT old! but I know I'm not all that young either.
An example of the world telling me that I am not as young as I thought was:
Some months ago T And I Were at a theme park. I was wearing one of my rock group shirts. this one is black (okay I think they are all black) and it reads "I Am Demon Hunter".
(I love that band) I was feeling good about myself. I was even thinking I was kinda cute. After all that morning a guy stopped me and talked to me because I was wearing that shirt. ( He likes the band also). So T and I were getting off of a roller coaster for the second or third time and the lady helping people out and making sure we all left the correct way said "oh do you have teenagers?" I couldn't for the life of me think what she meant and said "no." (heck! I am barely finished being a teenager myself lady!! How could I have a teenager?) she indicated my shirt and asked if I had borrowed from my teenager. I smiled (instead of hitting her silly) and said " no this is mine."
On top of that obviously nearly blind woman, mistaking me for someone old enough to have a teenager, (OK, my best friend is the same age as I am and her son is 18... but I'm not old enough!) I have had to rethink my concert habits and wonder if I can handle standing, jumping and head banging for four or five hours. (My back didn't used to ache like crazy after a few hours of rockin out)
So here I am, I guess I must be an adult since I am now, apparently old.
I do not plan to act my age until at least 75 or 80 when it will be ok to act like a kid again. So there roller coaster lady!

Love Love Love

2006-07-16T13:59:00.000-07:00

Well I am amazed at how God is working in my life, not just everyday, but every moment. He is teaching me about love, and all that goes with it. I have never been in a relationship. I know very little about romantic love. But it's not romantic love I'm talking about. I know how to love a friend. but I don't know how to make a friend. I don't do well expecting or accepting love from others because I have not been very good at loving myself.

Over the past many months, The Lord has been telling me how much He loves me. I have been convicted that it is sinful to not love myself. After all God created me. It's quite an insult to say I'm not good enough. So I have allowed myself to let go of self-hate and love myself for the beautiful creation of God that I am. As I have done this, I am trying now to accept love and friendship from people around me. What a blessing!

I have always had a few very close friends and many acquaintances. but now my closest friend lives so very far away. I still have my precious bestest friend (I am doubly blessed that she is my sister) God has showed me that He has more in mind for me than the lonely existence I have been living. He has opened my eyes to the people around me. I've been missing out on all these beautiful souls around me.

I was so caught up in myself. A person told me recently she thought I was wrapped up in my own world. I was. I was always longing for someone to crack open my shell and discover me. It never occurred to me that I wasn't allowing anyone to come near me.

I never had a hard time giving love to others. I have always had a hard time receiving it.

Well anyway, as old as I am, I think I finally have it. I have always prayed that God's love would flow out of me to people around me. Now I want His Love and mine to flow out of me.

I feel like this is so discombobulated. It's so hard to explain. I am so happy. But more than happy, I truly feel God's Joy. I feel His Love more so than I ever have. I am in love with the people that I hope to soon call my friends. I am in love with the new life in front of me. I am in love with life. Mostly I am deeply in love with Jesus Christ.

Perfect Peace

2006-07-10T07:29:00.000-07:00

Our Lord is so Awesome! He is so full of mercy and love and grace. Trusting Him is joy, He gives perfect peace.
I recently learned that God really wants me to trust Him. I thought I was but I was only half giving my problems to Him. I would pray for His help, then run around and try to find the solution myself.
going to The Amazon taught me that God will take care of me, and if I just depend on Him, He will meet my every need and many of my desires.
After I got home, our power was shut off. They told us how much money it would cost to turn it back on and it was more than we could figure out how to get. We prayed and waited. I didn't try to solve the problem myself. Some people gave me some phone numbers for agency that help pay bills. My sister called them but to no avail. I didn't panic, I just waited. I am not saying that I wasn't upset. I was definitely upset but I tried for the most part to be positive. We were able to spend the extra time at my parents and the house never really got too hot for sleeping.
In Sunday School, I mentioned our power problem. The lesson this week was amazing, I felt like it was given straight to me. After church the people from my class gave me almost all the money I needed to get the power back.
I was so touched! I was amazed and I never imagined that God would take care of the problem in that way. He showed me not only his love for me but also how wonderful the people around me are.

The Amazing Amazon!

2006-06-27T06:28:00.000-07:00

Wow! I'm home from The Amazon. It was a really amazing time. I learned a lot from God and had some wonderful experiences. There is so much to tell, I am going to do my best and go in chronological order. I may mix some things up, but most of you won't know whether I did or not.

Twenty six of us arrived to Manaues very early in the morning. We were all very tired from a full day of traveling but excited none the less. We were about 250 miles south of the equator. It was very very hot and very very humid. We traveled on the boat for a couple of days before reaching the Satare Maues territory. We lived on the boat for the entire 12 days of the trip. We slept in hammocks and shared the four showers and six bathrooms. With so many of us plus about another twenty of the AMOR crew, one would think it would be awful to live like that but it wasn't. Each person there was a beautiful loving soul. Everyone was kind and considerate throughout the journey.

We made it to the first village, Esperanca. I was sad to learned the T'shau (chief) had had a stroke but he didn't look too badly for that. The climb uphill to get into that village is monstrous! I climbed that beast as many times as I had to and obviously survived.

The indians live in such poverty it is almost impossible to describe. These people have very little. They are also a very beautiful people in my opinion.

I was on the medical team. Our team saw as many people as came to us for treatment of various complaints. We had one interpreter who translated from English to Portuguese, and another who translated from Portuguese to Satare. Communication was difficult with words but everyone understood the smiles, touches, hugs and games.

We went to Five villages in all ( I think I' might be forgetting one) Esperanca, Nazare, Boa Nova, Villa Nova, and Santa Maria. We worked very hard, but we also had a lot of fun. The children would get so excited to see us. The would follow us around and want to get close to us. They would pat our pockets down for Bom Bom (candy). We taught them little games and how to "gimmee five" and gave them little trinkets to show in some way how much we loved them and that that love is from a good and gracious God.

They are a polytheistic people. the gods they worship expect pain and sacrifice. A loving forgiving, merciful God is a completely foreign concept to them. We show them The One True God through our actions to them in the medical and dental clinics, Construction teams and vacation bible school teams In the evening they hear the word of God through a worship service.

The process is a slow one but they are learning about our God. We actually saw a few people make decisions for Christ! It was wonderful! there is a Satare Pastor there. Pastor Moises could use your prayers as he has a small but growing and eager flock to tend. He travels from village to village as well as takes care of his own family and preaches and teaches the Christians in each village.

I did a couple of things I've never done before as well. I pet an alligator! He or she was about a year old and two feet long. A couple of the crew guys went out and caught them so that we could hold them and see them before they let them go. I tried to hold one but just couldn't bring myself to do it. ( I can't even hold a hamster) But I did pet it several times. I held a sloth! Well two different sloths and different times. They are really cool little animals.

I did so many different things and had such a wonderful time. I cannot tell you how great it is to be back home in the States and how nice it is to have a hot shower and warm bed again.

Finally!

2006-06-13T13:48:00.000-07:00

Well! It's Here! I am finally leaving for my Missions trip to The Amazon! I am leaving in the morning at 10:00. (June 14th, cause you might read this at some other time and think "wow she STILL hasn't left!")

I am so excited. (As anyone that talks to me at anytime knows.) I am really thankful to everyone that has been praying and I hope you will ocntinue to do so. Check back in with me about the 28th and see a nice long blog about the trip.

Ate logo!

The Amazon and lessons learned

2006-05-22T04:00:00.000-07:00

The time for my trip is getting so close! I am really excited. I am boring everyone around me with it. Amazon, Amazon, Amazon! I have packed already and still have about 3 weeks before we leave. I will probably unpack and repack a couple of times again before we leave. I am still over $600 short of the money I need. God will provide it. I have no question about that. He will provide it exactly when He knows it's the right time.
He is still working on me learning to accept help from others and depend on others. I am much to resistant to letting people reach out to me. I'm used to having to feel guilty about needing help, or feeling bad because I had to have some help. Growing up I had so many kids making fun of me for everything. When I had a little help with something, say riding the bus in junior high because I had a bad knee, the extra attention it caused me, was humiliating. I think that's the core of my resistance to help. It makes me feel like I'm not as good as I should be. I feel humiliated whenever I need even the smallest amount of help.
Well anyway, God has showed me, that we are all dependent on others for some things. He has showed me we are all dependent on Him for EVERYthing. It's taking time but I am learning the lesson. I am trying to allow others to step in and lift me up a little.
As for the money, I truly thought I could get it all myself without problem. I knew I could. But, God worked it so I HAD to let others donate the money. He also made it so that none of my fund raising efforts worked. It had to be His way not mine. So I know that the rest of the money will come when it should.
Please pray for me, and the trip, as well as all the people on the trip, and those we will be helping.
Thanks.

We are finally moved!

2006-05-08T05:06:00.000-07:00

Well Lani and I are finally pretty much settled into our new apartment. We both really like it. The drive is not so great for Lani. It's a long way on high traffic roads. That is the only drawback I can think of right now. I am less than two miles form my job door to door.
I love the set up of the apartment. I think we moved in at exactly the right time. They were remodeling all the apartments and so we have brand new appliances.
The big thing is, I can't wait to have guests. Living at the house, I dreaded people dropping by. I apologized continuously for the house. But with the apartment (aka FC Manor) I really want people to stop by. I can't wait to entertain.
So if you know me, and you live near, well ya'll come on over! Ya hear?

DDNA conference

2006-04-25T10:35:00.000-07:00

I just returned from the 14th annual DDNA conference in Daytona Beach. I was very blessed to be able to attend. If you don't know what the DDNA is it is the developmental Disabilities Nurses Association.
Each year they get together and learn and network. This was my first year attending and I hope it won't be my last. I learned so much! I can't wait to see how to use what I've learned to benefit the clients for whom I work.
I'm so excited to have gone.
I love my job. I love being a DD nurse. I think if more people opened themselves up to the experience of knowing people with developmental disabilities, there would be an abundance of people wanting to work with, befriend and help those people.
Often I'm told it takes someone very special to do my job. I honestly don't think so. I think it takes someone blessed to discover my job and have that job. It is wonderful to go to a place everyday where I spend the day with great people that I love, both the ones that work beside me and the ones I work for.

It's coming!

2006-04-17T05:37:00.000-07:00

It is getting close to the time when I will be leaving for The Amazon in Brazil for my missions trip. Last year I went for the first time. From the moment we returned I couldn't wait to go again. It was such an amazing experience. I understand why every Christian should go on at least one mission trip in their life.
God used that trip in my life to change me. He worked in my life while I was working to help the villagers we met.
I am so addicted! I would love to go every year. In order to do that I have to completely overhaul my finances. That is an area of my life that I have not given completely to the Lord yet. I am such a mess in the money department. I am working on it. I am getting better. I have stopped worrying about money. I know god meets all my needs. I keep getting tested. I'm doing what I should and that is, nothing. I am letting God be in control. Since doing that, things are getting so much better. I used to worry, and freak out about the bills. On paper everything should have been fine, but in real life it never was. Now paper and real life are getting a little closer together.
I think that is one of the best lessons I learned from last years trip and this years trip, to depend on God, to let Him take control.
I had a plan last year about how to go again this year. It never happened. In fact I am still nearly $2000 short of the money I need for the trip. God wants me to learn that He is the God of the universe. He is in control. He will provide what I need. So here I am learning that lesson.
I look forward to blogging al about our experiences in Brazil. Posting tons of pictures for y'all to see and telling you about How mighty is Our God!

Joy

2006-04-16T10:29:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to say:

I got the Joy Joy Joy Joy down in my soul, down in my soul!

Our God is awesome! He is Holy and Perfect! He is The Lion of Judah and He is the Lamb Who is Worthy! He is The Alpha and The Omega!

Whoa whoa whoa feelings

2006-04-09T14:11:00.000-07:00

I am trying to word my thoughts without sounding like I'm bragging. I'm not. It's interesting to me that so many different paths lead us to God. So many different experiences make us who we are. Jesus is the only way to the Father. The ways we eventually make it to Jesus are innumerous. I admire so many people who have such a strong walk with the Lord. The things they have gone through amaze me.
I haven't really been through anything so dramatic as so many people before finding salvation.
I was saved when I was 9 years old. I have never done drugs. I have never been drunk. I am a virgin at 37 years old.
There are people who have been in worlds of drugs and sex and God brought them out of that. Those people have tremendous testimonies. Sometimes I'm jealous of those testimonies. They are powerful and hearing it, brings people to know that Jesus saves!
I have been through my share of things. These experiences although difficult also allow me to talk to people and let them know about a wonderful, beautiful, loving, and merciful God. They are just different.
I have often wondered why God has protected me from so many experiences, especially my virginity. He has intervened miraculously when someone was about to forcibly take it form me. He has stepped in, when I was considering giving it away. There is some important purpose for that in my life. I don't know what it is. I am thrilled that something that special and unique still belongs to me at my age. I don't need any accolades for it. I don't want any accolades for it.
I just wonder why. I mean other people have been in horrible situations and had their virginity stolen from them, God allowed it. Why did he save me from that experience? Why has He kept me intact? One day, maybe I'll know.
Anyway, I admire the people who through Christ have overcome awful things in their lives.
I am blessed.
The reason I write this and why it has been on my mind is because I was recently asked to write a short testimony. I did and I just thought it was so boring. It would never bring anyone to know the Lord. I heard others testimonies and was awed by them. But As I've thought about it, I've realized that my experiences mean something to someone. I have done horrible things in my life. Mostly after I became a Christian. I was still forgiven. Christ's blood covers me. The forgiveness of my jealousy is just as miraculous as the forgiveness of my suicide attempt. One sin is not greater or more evil than another. Every sin cost exactly the same. The cost of every sin is death. Christ paid the price for all of them. All we have to do is ask, and He covers us.
That is so awesome! My testimony isn't so boring as I thought. Maybe I'll write it out in a blog some time. I can't believe I admitted some of the things I admitted in this blog. So now I will be a little braver about my true testimony.

Thanks

2006-04-09T13:57:00.000-07:00

Well there are many people that have been praying for me. I want to say thanks. I am in so much a better place now. I am not going to let the f.o.l. make me a useless bump. I am a daughter of the King of Kings! I am a soldier in this war! I am no longer a prisoner of that war.
I am filled with God's Love, Joy, and Peace. I am so thankful to the people in my Life Class, and others that reached out to me, prayed for me and let me know I was loved. I am thankful that people pointed out to me some truths that I couldn't see.
So I just wanted to put peoples minds to rest that have been worried about me. I'm back, I'm better and God is a healing, loving, merciful Father. Because of Jesus, I am a part of a wonderful loving family of Christians. I have so much to learn. I am so thankful that I have people around me to help me do that.
So thank you, y'all. I love you!

Disciple, Kutless, Delirious? and a new me

2006-04-02T20:02:00.000-07:00

Well this weekend was the Orlando Luis Palau Festival. I went both days and had a great time.
the first day I was alone for the entire time, but I secured my front row center spot by the stage, and stuck it out for the majority of the day and evening.
I was there so long before the shows started people thought I worked there. They kept coming up and asking me questions.
Anyway eventually the shows started. First up was Disciple. They were so good! I loved the show and wished it would have been longer. I think they did 4 songs. Their sound check was longer than their set. (I watched all the sound checks)
Then there were several good bands but no one that I knew their music. Tony Vegas(?) He is a Latino singer and did a good show. CeCe Winans who was amazing played. I thought she went on a little long though. David Luben was in there somewhere. I liked him. I don't think he's well known.
Next up came Kutless. They were so good! There was either something wrong with the sound up by the stage or I had gone deaf by the time they played because I couldn't hear them singing. I think it was a sound problem. I still enjoyed it. I would have like it better had I been able to hear it better. Anyway, here I am front row, center surrounded by kids half my age, and Micah (the lead singer)jumps off the stage over to the barricades just over to my left. Suddenly there was a rush of kids crushing me and screaming and trying to touch him. It was at that point I thought I might be to old to do the front row thing. (nah.. temporary insanity)
After their set I was so tired and in pain. I had been standing there for about 8 hours. I had to go home. I regretted leaving before Toby Mac came on stage. He does an incredible show but I couldn't take the pain anymore.
I had been alone all day and after leaving because of my age I started my I hate myself mantra. It has been getting really bad. This morning going to church I was still pretty depressed. In my Sunday School Class, I asked friends to pray for me and just broke down. I didn't even want to be there anymore. Several people prayed for me, and gave me some very sound advice. I was so lifted up by that.
I went back to the festival for the second day. I was planning on not going since I don't care much for any of the bands that were there today except Delirious?, but I went. I brought a chair and sat in an area where I could watch out for friends. I thought I was going to be alone again. I saw some friends and said hello but I knew they weren't going to stay. I ran into my cousins and was happy to see them. But Then I saw a friend from Sunday School and brought my chair to where they were and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon. I was happy to be with them. There were a couple of times that the I hate myself mantra tried to get started but I didn't let it. I told Satan to get behind me. I took those thoughts captive.
After Luis Palau spoke, Delirous? came on stage. OK! They were phenomenal! I was floored by the worship experience. I was renewed! I was filled up by God for the first time in ages! They were just amazing!
Now I feel so much better. I am truly on my way to being better and being the Christian God meant me to be. I am really hopeful for the first time in awhile.
I am so glad my friends saw me and invited me over to be with them. I am so glad I told them my problem and asked them to pray for me.

Journaling out my feelings

2006-04-01T04:58:00.000-08:00

I'm finished being depressed! I am so tired of this self-loathing. I was walking to my car last night and it was like a mantra in my head, "I hate myself, I hate myself." I am not going to take this anymore! I really hate feeling this way!
I am going to a festival this weekend (alone of course). There will be several concerts, and a speaker. I am going to pray pray pray that I can get past this, so God can use me the way He wants. The father of lies has me exactly where he wants me. What good am I to God when I can barely breathe? Well NO MORE! I am not taking this anymore! Today it changes!
Please pray for me. I need protection. I am so vulnerable to the self loathing stuff. Loneliness ends up leading me to self-pity, which ends with hating myself. I feel inadequate for everything. I need prayer that I will be content by myself and with myself. I need protection from the f.o.l.
I am through with these sad sad stupid pity parties. I don't know why I'm alone. God has a purpose for it. I am not simply talking about romantic love. Everyone jumps right to that. I am talking about friends, and companions as well. I guess I have to get to a place where I am ok being alone all the time. Funny for the most part, I always have been ok with being alone. I enjoy it. For instance today, when I go to the concerts, I won't have to worry about whether or not the people I am with want to wait by the stage to get a front row spot. I'll be the only one with me. I have always enjoyed activities one does alone, such as reading, web-surfing and listening to music. I think it's just getting to a point where everything I want to do, I am having to do alone. I am not really given much choice. It's either go alone or don't go. I guess I just need to be OK with that.
I think I'll be alright. I am not going to wallow in this self-pity, I am not drowning in depression. I am getting out of this mode and moving on with my walk. I am a follower of Christ! I am a daughter of the King of Kings! I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!
Please pray for me. I can't do it alone. I need prayer. I need fellowship. I need to accept what God has given me and accept his blessings instead of seeing what's wrong with my life.

Telepathy?!?!

2006-03-30T13:55:00.000-08:00

The other night my Sister and I had this conversation.

She: (looks at me doesn't say anything, sort of nods and smiles)
Me: (nods, smiles) "well.. you"
She: (smiles) "already?"
Me (nods, smiles)
Both: laughing

This is what the concersation actually was, when we told the story later we both knew exactly what was being said

She: "After Cyndi goes to bed, let's have an ice cream cone"
Me: "Ok! Well, you can have one anyway."
She: "You already ate yours?"
Me: Yes, I couldn't wait I had mine earlier."

We often have little conversations without saying everything, but that one was quite complex and pretty cool. there was no question at anytime that we didn't know exactly what the other was saying

God is awesome

2006-03-27T04:20:00.000-08:00

God is awesome! He has met my needs in a way I just couldn't see coming. All this time I've been trying to see how all my bills were going to be paid and couldn't see any solution. But God worked and my bills will be paid by me with my own money and things will work. He is truly amazing! I'm not getting any extra money from anywhere. It will just work. I won't have any extra money for anything. My Sister will not get a birthday present from me. But it will be alright.
We also have found a new place to live. I like the set up of the apartment. I am just really happy to be moving out of this house.
So hopefully with alot of this stress relieved, my depression will lift some.
I'm sure my co-workers are ready for me to cheer up. I know I'm ready to get out of this funk. I don't think I've been too bad though most people didn't even notice.

verborhea

2006-03-24T15:46:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile since I've blogged anything. I haven't wanted to do too many negative posts. I've been depressed lately and under mega stress. I am still under the stress, but things are looking a little brighter. I hope I have found a place to live. I just have to figure out how to come up with the money and hope that our applications are accepted.
Money seems to be my big issue. I need a gay sugar daddy. Ya know? He'll give me all the money I want, but all he'll want from me is a beautiful woman to be with when he needs a date.
Then there's the whole love issue. I always feel like people don't really like me or want me around. I think no one really wants me there they just put up with me. I'm the perpetual fifth wheel. I know that is just a feeling, it's not real, but hey feelings are feelings.
I was recently telling a friend a little bit of how I don't think I will ever be in a relationship. He was really nice and honestly cheered me up. He didn't give me too many platitudes and just let me know he is my friend. I was surprised because it's not often that anyone can cheer me when I am pitying myself about my single status. And I didn't really think he thought of me as much of a friend. To have him of all people let me know He's a friend, was nice. So anyway I am feeling a little better over all. I have the hopes of a place to live, I have the hope that one day I might have myself financially straight. ( I am really trying) and someone I can consider a friend.
Work at least is going well. I do feel like I am doing well there. I am going to get to go to the DDNA conference in April. I'll get the chance to learn a lot of DD related things, and hopefully carry those into my job.
My missions trip is forthcoming. I am so excited about that, and I am trying not to stress about the fact that I need $1965 more. God will provide it. There's no need to worry about that.
Really there's no need to worry about anything. God is in control! He will and does take care of me. He provides my every need.
I get really angry at myself for being depressed about all this. It's like I'm not trusting God. I do trust Him. I know he cares for me.
Ok enough of the pity party, enough of the silliness.
I'll be back soon with a much happier report.

Cell

2006-03-13T11:10:00.000-08:00

Well I just finished reading cell by Stephen King. I have to say I really enjoyed reading it. It was somewhat faster paced than many of his books and genuinely scary in a couple of places. But if the end is the most important part, well...
I won't give away the end but it did ruin the rest of the book for me.
There were some things I really liked about the book. I could picture it clearly in my mind as a film. I hoped it would be made into a movie as I was reading it. I loved the little references to other books especially the Dark Tower series. It reminded me of some parts of The Stand and of Dark Tower
So if you want a good fun read go for it but I did warn you that the end is really disappointing.

Bored

2006-03-04T12:10:00.000-08:00

I am SO bored! I was supposed to go camping this weekend and it didn't work out. So now I am just home, surfing the net etc. I started reading a book but I was getting sleepy. Heck! I am off work an a Saturday! There should be lots to do. Everyone is busy. I have six measly bucks to my name. Ho hum. I should just get dressed and go to a dollar movie or head over to Universal Studios. I dunno. Nothing sounds good enough to do alone. I've already wasted so much of the day. If I had two more bucks and gas money I could go see Mute Math in Tampa tonight. But again I'm alone and I'm not into driving all that way alone after a concert.
Ho Hum. So I guess I'll see what's showing at the dollar movie... maybe.
Ugh! I will maybe just try reading again. It's the new Stephen King Novel, Cell and it's really good so far. Yeah, I guess I'll do that. Even this blog is boring. If you're still reading you're probably sleeping.

My Everest

2006-03-03T17:16:00.000-08:00

Today Todd and I went to Disney World so we could ride the new roller coaster at Animal Kingdom. I have been riding roller coasters now to help me over come different fears. I got past the upside thing, but I am still really afraid of drops. I was pretty sure that this ride had a big drop. So I was looking forward to, and terrified of riding at the same time.
We got to the park and the tram driver mentioned that Expedition Everest wouldn't be opening until two o'clock. So we decided to head over to MGM studios for awhile. I had never ridden Rockin Roller Coaster. We got in line and I was pretty nervous. But I am a newly brave soul and got on the ride and it was a blast! I enjoyed it so much. We ate lunch and then rode Star Tours. That was so the wrong order to do those two activities! (But I survived without hurling.)
We went over to Animal Kingdom and walked over to the roller coaster and it wasn't open yet. They said it would be later than planned because of some test runs. But Whoa! To look at that ride... I mean I can't think of anything else to say just "Whoa!"
So we went and rode a couple of other things then headed back to Everest. We were given the sad sad news that it wouldn't be open at all today. We were pretty disappointed. It is rare that Todd and I have a day off work together, so I am not sure when we'll be able to try again.
We were going to head to EPCOT and ride Soarin' (yet another one I've never had the chance to ride). Our age got to us though and we ended up coming home.
Todd went out tonight anyway and wanted to get some rest before he left. We were both very tired. It was warm today and I think somehow Animal Kingdom is always at least 20 degrees hotter than the rest of Orlando. I think it was 85 this afternoon. Add in walking and walking and walking, with there not being any choices for me to drink out there and I was ready to come home.
We did have a great time even with the disappointment of nit being able to ride Everest. There's always next time. (sigh)

I am tired of this (just whining)

2006-02-27T08:36:00.000-08:00

I was hungry. I looked in our almost empty fridge, freezer and cabinets. I found french fries. And they are certainly not the healthiest lunch, but I said to myself " mmm that sounds good fries and mayo! Yum Yum!"
I am somewhat limited when it comes to what I can eat, because of stomach and absorption issues that are nunya. So anyway, I baked them, added my mayo, and brought them out by the PC. I ate like 3 and I am unable to eat another bite! I am full, yet not satisfied. Now I've wasted all these fries! How sad! ( OK like not really but it's my pity party and I'll whine if I want to!) (Oh! And great I've ended a sentence in a preposition!!!)
I need to buy a bunch of soup I guess. But when I'm shopping I can never find anything that just calls to me and says yum yum the way the fries do. Ho hum I'm getting a little tired of soup anyway. Salad is so expensive! Meat and cheese bores me and it never looks that good. Eggs? nah... cereal yum but I had that for breakfast and I can only handle so much milk. Oh gosh! I need some ideas! What's for lunch?!?! I don't want to have to cook anything big. No leftovers left over from last night. I can only think of soup.
Well anyway, I am over it now thanks for listening.

Cyndi

2006-02-19T12:48:00.000-08:00

Cyndi was baptized today. She did such a good job. She spoke briefly before she was baptized and sounded wonderful. She said she was only a little nervous.

My Cyndi is taking the plunge

2006-02-16T05:50:00.000-08:00

Cyndi accepted Christ as her savior on August 8th of 2005. She then decided she wanted to obey God and be baptized. When a child wants to be baptized at my church they must take a class to make sure they understand what they are doing and teach them what it means and what to expect. Well, I took a long time to schedule the class, but finally got around to it in October. Then, Cyndi had to wait for her mother to schedule a meeting with children's ministries. She just never had the time. I finally found out that I could attend the meeting instead of her mother so I made the appointment and we went last night.
First Cyndi was interviewed on her own to make sure it was her decision and she knew what she was doing. She did very well. Then I came in and we found out that there was an open spot This Sunday 2/19/06 at 9am! So Cyndi is thrilled! She will finally get to be baptized after all this time. She was just bubbling over with excitement. I am as well. My little Chica Loca is obeying God and following in His footsteps.

So excited

2006-02-14T13:57:00.000-08:00

Last night we had the first of the Team Amazon meetings for our upcoming Missions trip. This was the informational meeting. It was very exciting because so many people want to go on the trip that it was overbooked and there is hope of a second trip! I think that's really awesome! The good that is done for the people in the Amazon Valley of Brazil is incalculable.
I reread my journal from last year's trip today. I did not forget any of the wonderful experiences I had had, but I had not thought of some of them lately. I loved being reminded. I also was reminded of some of the great things I learned on the trip. Now I am more excited than ever. I wish I could somehow come up with enough money to do both trips (if there are two). I would love to do the trip every year every time. I would be thrilled beyond thrilled if somehow I could do that. I was truly happy when I was sitting in the makeshift medical clinic, hot and sticky and helping someone with much needed medication or treatment for an illness. I loved the evening worship services even though I couldn't understand the language. I could go on and on (and I do) about my trip last year and about how I can't wait to go this year.
If you are interested in contributing or learning more about it let me know.
Anyway, I am so excited. I am sorry my thoughts are not more coherent today. There is so much I want to convey and way too much for a few typed words to properly do it, plus my hands are freezing and typing is quite uncomfortable right now.

Life in the 21st Century

2006-01-31T16:02:00.000-08:00

Last night, I called my sister to say goodnight and she how she was doing. We were both using our cell phones. We were in our bedrooms... which are right across the hall from each other, since we share a house.
I think that life is so funny!

reaching out

2006-01-29T17:51:00.000-08:00

Dear friends and family,
This past July I went to The Amazon Jungle in Brazil on a missions trip with my church. It was an incredible experience. There were twenty-two of us, plus the crew of the boat where we lived for 10 days. We traveled to four villages of the tribal people that live in the Amazon Valley. They are called the Satare-Maues. At each village we visited, we built them a structure of their choice. This is sometimes a shelter for the generator, or a hut for a widow or a latrine. We also provide dental services and medical services to the villages. This is much needed since the nearest cities are several days travel. The one thing the people enjoy the most though is Vacation Bible School. Each day all the children and many of the adults crowd the VBS area to learn about the love of God. They are very eager to learn more about Jesus Christ.
It was wonderful getting to know The Satare people. I had so many amazing experiences and left there closer to God.
I am planning to go again this June. The cost of the trip is $2500. I am reaching out to you to ask if can help me to go again by raising the money. This money covers plane fare, food, medical and construction supplies, and of course the Boat and crew. It is a great bargain and the money does so much good for so many people.
First of all I ask you to pray for me and for the rest of Team Amazon. Secondly, I ask that if you are able you could send a donation. You can make checks payable to First Baptist Church of Orlando. Put a note on the memo section that it is for Donna Campbell Amazon Trip. You can mail the check to me. (e-mail me if you need my address) or to the Church. Jim Nassar c/o First Baptist Church of Orlando 3000 South John Young Parkway Orlando FL 32805. Just don't forget to include my name in the memo line.
If you would like more information about Team Amazon and the trips go to www.TeamAmazon.org If you have any questions you can e-mail me or you can e-mail Jim Nassar at JimNassar@FBCOrlando.org
Thank you,

this is an address to view a slide show I made of some of the people I met on the trip
http://www.photoshow.net/view/iWqLjSACf

Learning more

2006-01-27T14:49:00.000-08:00

I have learned more recently in my walk with God. I am so very happy that I am learning things daily. My latest lesson has been this.

Everytime I begin to worry, I pray instead. When my mind is idle, and I might have time to worry, I memorize bible verses. I have learned so much in doing this. It's been amazing.

One of the verses I have come across in my daily devotions and chosen to memorize is Ephesians 3:20

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us.

Is that the most wonderful verse?! I love it! God can do more than we can even imagine!!!! And that power, is at work WITHIN us! Wow! I mean .... WOW!

He showed me that verse at a time when I thought I was going to have to quit my job because not only was my car broken down and I had no money to fix it, but also I was dealing with people trying to bring me down, and destroy me at work. I didn't worry. I prayed, I read the Bible, I journaled, I sat quietly and listened for Him to guide me. He surely did! Our God is awesome! Through all my problems, I have had peace, because He gives perfect peace. Even if I would have had to quit my job I would have been OK. I know this because I actually did turn in my notice. I was alright with whatever was going to happen. What happened was my boss became aware of problems that I thought she was already aware, and I was able to speak to the people trying to destroy me. My notice was placed in the shredder and I am staying.

My car was repaired and it was covered by the warranty. Woo Hoo! In other words, Praise God!

I'm Back!

2006-01-27T14:13:00.000-08:00

Wow! I have been offline now for about a month. I am back and I am so very happy! I missed blogging, and e-mail and connecting with people. I missed so much. I couldn't go online because I didn't have cable. I was not able to watch television this whole time either and since we have digital phone well that was off as well. But it really wasn't terrible. I took it as an opportunity to do something other than surf the net. (that is the first thing I do everyday after work) I read,I listened to tons of music, I got closer to God, and I played a lot of Roller Coaster Tycoon!
All in all I survived. No being without cable, phone and internet isn't a tragedy but maybe some people would take it very hard and I didn't. I didn't even miss TV very much. But I am so glad I won't have to miss anymore of American Idol! Whew!

A revelation

2006-01-01T09:17:00.000-08:00

I tend to be melancholy. It's not something I like about myself. Sometimes I get downright depressed. I realized I need to work on being more joyful. In my church life class,(Sunday school)A friend spoke about making a list of 100 things he is thankful to God for giving him. So I decided to make a list like that I am up to 75 things and it is helping.
But I also noticed that while trying to get out of my depression, I have been barraged with terrible and constant thoughts about what a failure I am, what a loser I am, about loneliness and self-hatred. I knew those thoughts were from Satan but it didn't help. Then I was writing about my depression and God gave me this word. Satan is the Father of Lies! Duh! He is lying to me! I don't have to sit in wallow in those lies!
God has a purpose for me, and for every experience I have had. He is my loving Father! He is awesome!
I am not suddenly not depressed, but wow what a great lesson for me! I couldn't wait to share that.

Hanukkah

2005-12-19T09:43:00.000-08:00

I am Jewish. I am Christian. These two are not opposites. (as many people assume) I am a completed Jew. I believe Jesus is the Messiah.
At this time of year and at other holidays such as Rosh Hashanna, I often feel people choose not to recognize my Judaism. No, I don't go to a synagogue, I go to a Baptist Church. I don't celebrate the Shabbat. I don't even have Passover Seder. But I am Hebrew by birth. I am proud of my roots. The Jews are God's chosen people. That means something to me.
I love being Jewish. I love being Christian. Jesus is awesome. He is Wonderful! He chose me twice!
So tell me Happy Hanukkah. Tell me Merry Christmas. Remember me at the Rosh Hashanna and tell me Happy New Year.
I wish all of you the Merriest of Christmases and a blessed New Year. Have a very Happy Hanukkah.

Music

2005-12-19T05:55:00.000-08:00

Music is so very important to me. I'm always a little surprised when I see people that don't really have a favorite music, or don't really care about music that much.
To me, music is how I express myself best. Not that I'm a good singer, I'm not. But Listening, singing, even thinking it helps me to express my feelings, thoughts and ideas. I worship God best through music. I think out my feelings best through music.
I wish I had a real talent for it. I'm amazed by people that can play an instrument, or sing. I would love to be able to bring the kind of joy to other people by singing that it brings to me to hear it. I love it when someone sits down at the piano at work and just plays some song. To think that a person can pluck strings and this amazing sound comes out flabbergasts me. Don't even get me started on how someone might have invented the instruments. That really floors me!
I love that some people can sit down and create a whole new song. A tune that never existed before combined with lyrics that mean something, that is a talent I really admire.
I guess that is why I am so much into listening to my music. I always want to have it playing. I want other people to share in it with me.
I am the only person in my circle that listens to the type of music I do. It would really enhance my enjoyment if there was someone next to me understanding why I love the music I do.
That's probably why I love a good concert. Other people around me all enjoying it. In addition, I get to see this person who took his pain, or his joy and created a song with it. Then he turns around and uses it to bring glory to God, and happiness to people. WOW!
I guess that's all I've got to say about that...
by the way the picture is from a recent concert I went to see. Kalel of Pillar playing in the rain. It's blurry but I love that you can see how hard it's raining and he's still rockin'.

See Spot Rock

2005-12-17T13:48:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Todd and I went to The See Spot Rock Tour. We had SO much fun! What an experience! First of all our tickets said 4pm. I assumed that meant the concerts started at 4 pm. Well we showed up at 2pm. There were several people all with lanyards and name tags etc. Around setting up the stage, doing sound checks etc. The only people who didn't have ID were the band members, but I recognized them as being in the different bands, and us. We just stood there quietly watching everything. We didn't want to make a peep and have someone kick us out of the park. (where the concerts we being held) We watched several of the guys play a game of football. We watched Lester from Pillar set up his drums. We saw so many people doing different things, and we just stood there saying "wow" to ourselves.

Finally the gates opened and we got our spots right in front of the stage. At 6:00 Staple came onstage and they were really great! I loved their energy and their set was way too short. I got one of the broken drumsticks! I know it's just a drumstick but whatever, it's cool to me. I love rock and I love rock concerts!

Then came The Wedding. These guys were so much younger than I imagined them to be. They were really good. The guitar player accidentally spit on me while he was singing but he apologized, and I lived.

Next was Day of Fire! They were a huge reason I went, and the ONLY reason Todd went. They rocked! WOW! They were great! Josh Brown the lead singer is phenomenal! He was so cool. A couple of times he reached out to me and to Todd and hit fists and stuff. The whole band is great. They did an amazing set.

The next band was Falling Up. Now I had no idea that every teeny bopper in Melbourne was in love with them. I had some little girl standing next to me hyperventilating and trying to kill me by jumping up and down and screaming for the entire set. But I enjoyed them anyway. I think if somehow you could harness the energy that band has, you could never be dependent on foreign oil again. This band was also much younger than I thought they were. Maybe that means I am getting old.

After that set it started raining. Pillar came on and wow they were great playing in the rain. But sadly the show had to end early because the rain was too much for the equipment. I did end up catching Kalel's guitar pick. OK Todd caught it but he gave it to me. He is so sweet!

After they ended their set the rain stopped. We walked around and talked to different people. I got Staple to sign my drumstick. I bought some t-shirts. My favorite part though was talking to Josh Brown. He was so genuinely nice. He seemed so happy to be talking to us. He was really sweet. He let us take a picture with him. I don't know if he knows how much that meant to Todd.

So I had just a great day. Each band was worth seeing.

Farts, Dragons, Hulks, Giant Apes

2005-12-13T11:27:00.000-08:00

I had such a fund great day yesterday. So much happened and I want to make sure I don't leave anything out. I always end up leaving something out.
I went to Universal Studios with My nephew David, two friends, Jacob and Jeremy and Jacobs dad.(I never remember learning the dad's name) David is 18 and I assume his friends are around the same age.
Before we got to the park and met his friends we got into the elevator from the parking garage which I thought was strange because David doesn't normally take the elevator. We got in along with a few other people and David stood facing away from the people and started farting. After we got out of the elevator he showed me his little fart machine with it's remote control. Let me warn you that the fart machine played a huge part in our day. I was the only female with 4 men, so you can see that fart humor played a large part in our day.
We met up with the first friend and rode The Mummy real quickly, then met up with the other friend and his dad. We rode the Mummy again, which is always good. I could ride that one a hundred times. Of course there was a lot of farting in the cue. After that we headed over to Men In Black. Before you get on the ride you ride in an elevator to the "real" exhibit. Naturally there was a great deal of farting in the elevator there as well. Strange how much gas there was that day. I normally love this one too, but I got sort of sick while we rode. But there was a problem with our car so we got to ride again. I should have waited it out but no I chose to ride again and I was very nauseous after that. It was a 60 degree day which meant I was wearing an undershirt, shirt, jacket and gloves. I had to take the jacket and gloves off for awhile to try to feel better.
We walked over to Islands of Adventure and by the time we got there I felt much better. We headed to a wonderful restaurant called Mythos. It was very nice. The decor is all rocks and looks like it's under the ocean. The food was fantastic. Throughout our dessert though Jacob and David practiced farting. Also Jacobs dad got in on it finding just the right way for Jacob to lean etc. So when the waitress came Jacob farted up a storm and we were all hysterical. Well the waitress wasn't laughing, she sort of rolled her eyes and smiled.
After Mythos we did Poseidons Fury (more farting) and then... (drum roll).. Dueling Dragons! This is a coaster that not only is floorless it is just one turn and flip and twist after another. And It was my first time riding it, as well as only my second time on an upside down roller coaster. Here is my impression of me on the ride.
Scream scream scream "Oh My Gosh!" "Oh My Gosh! scream scream scream and it just keeps going like that until the ride is over. I did like it! But I was really not feeling well after that! So David said we would do the fire dragon the next time. (Dueling Dragons is two coasters together Fire and Ice. The run close to one another and look like they will collide at one point. Very cool)
So once again the jacket came off my back and I got to recover while we watched a show. The jacket went back on just as quickly as it came off the arena where we watched the show was very cold. And strangely enough it seemed the actors that stood near my nephew all had gas problems.
We rode Spider-Man and I got nauseous again! Last but not least we rode The Incredible Hulk and of course that was great. David got our picture on it. He posed! He always does though. Rides don't scare him, movies don't scare him. I wonder what does scare him.
Then it was time to go see King Kong which had a special preview for employees of Universal. Being nauseous when you go see this movie, is not a good idea. I might have gotten nauseous watching it, even if I hadn't started out that way. It was very good! I was impressed. It was about an hour or so too long. It could have been just as good a film without the 5 minute scene of Kong looking at Anna and Anna looking at Kong, or two or three of the many dinosaur fights, or really any number of elongated scenes. But still I was impressed with the film and the effects. I never thought wow she looks fake in his hand or that ape looks fake or those dinosaurs are dumb. Kong looked very real, his facial expressions were great. Overall it was an excellent film.
And overall I had an excellent day.

Celebration Christmas

2005-12-11T05:55:00.000-08:00

Last night I took my niece to Celebration to enjoy the Christmas festivities there. Every hour they have "snow" fall for 15 minutes. This is a big deal in Florida where kids only see it snow on television. The snow in Celebration is soap suds and it looks great falling down onto the street. The kids all run around and play in it. They get down and make snow angels. They catch it in their mouths. They only try that a couple of times before they realize soap tastes bad. Cyndi loved it. We also rode the Christmas Train around the town, which was fun, but over priced since the ride last about 5 minutes and you wait in the line for about 20 minutes. We looked in the stores,listened to carolers, watched a dance troupe, and drank hot chocolate.
Cyndi said she had a great time, and would remember it for the rest of her life. She is just a little dramatic.
It was nice but a shame that it took me over half an hour to find a spot where we could park. Every parking space in the town was taken. We did find a place to park about half a mile from the main street, so I was pleased with that.
I took pictures but haven't yet gotten the film developed. When I do, I'll post some of them.

Selah

2005-12-05T07:34:00.000-08:00

Last night, a friend and I took two of my clients from work to a Selah concert. What a wonderful group they are! They have the most beautiful voices and they blend together in a phenomenal way. Anyway, how we ended up getting to go see this concert is remarkable!
I work with severely disabled people. When I am at work I often turn off the TV. (mostly so I won't have to watch stupid things like The View and Jerry Springer) I put on my CD's. Two of the favorites are my Selah albums. Both staff and clients really enjoy them. Especially one clients JB. He smiles right away when I play either of their albums. He can be in a grumpy mood, but I put that music in the player and he smiles and relaxes.
So my friend and Co-worker said to me on Tuesday, that she knew they were coming in concert but couldn't remember where or when. I looked it up on the internet and sure enough they were coming Sunday night and they were sold out. I was crest fallen! JB just had to get to see them! I had seen them several years ago and they were really good. I had not heard of them before that concert and fell in love with them that day.
So anyway, the Bible verse "you have not because you ask not" came into my mind. So I e-mailed the radio station Z88.3 (also streamed at Zradio.org) They were so nice they gave me 4 tickets! If you are looking to listen to a commercial free Christian music station, give them a listen.
So my friend and I took JB and another client to the show. They loved it. They smiled through the entire thing. It was pure joy to see how happy they were. Selah did such a nice show.
when I get my pictures back I'll post a couple.

Mr and Mrs D

2005-12-03T10:21:00.000-08:00

I went to a wedding this morning. It was so very nice. The couple are both just lovely people. They have a really great story but it's their private story and I won't share it here. But I can say that they are so very obviously in love with one another as well as best friends. To watch them together is something special. The fact that they got married is just perfect. The ceremony was nice. She was glowing and her dress was perfect. He was very handsome and neither looked at all nervous but so happy up there. The reception was decorated in snow flakes which was very pretty. She is from Wyoming and now living in Florida. So the snowflakes had a double meaning as a touch of Christmas and a touch of Wyoming.
Oh it was just beautiful!

2005-11-21T11:41:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite bands is Pillar. They are a really good rock band. If you haven't heard them I suggest you give them a listen. Their latest album is "Where do we go from Here?"
Anyway I was bored and I put this collage together. It's just a little one I might try a bigger one soon. Feel lucky I didn't make it a puzzle. OOOOH but I could! ha ha I won't though.

2005-11-21T06:01:00.000-08:00

Have a very Happy Thanksgiving! Make everyday a day of Thanks to the Lord. Thank Him for EVERY thing in your life.

I am so Thankful for my family, my home, my job and for each person in my life.

a bad poem

2005-11-18T13:18:00.000-08:00

a bad poem

I'm not lonely

The pieces of my heart keep each other company

I don't need you

I can talk to myself

I'm not lonely

2005-11-16T14:13:00.000-08:00

The other day Cyndi and I were in the car on the highway and she was singing her little heart out along with her Jesse McCartney CD.
My heart was bursting with love for her. I almost started crying. I love her so much.
How petty does it sound that I want my own little girl to love? I am jealous of people who have children, especially the ones that don't appreciate the fact.
I understand that both my niece and nephew locally have a very special relationship with me. We are very close and they love me immensely and I love them endlessly.
It just makes me want my own even more.

slip slidin'

2005-11-12T14:23:00.000-08:00

This summer when I was in Brazil, I learned such and incredible lesson about myself. I learned that I prejudge certain people assuming that they will dislike me or think less of me. Then I stay away from them so that I won't be hurt.

Well since I had that epiphany, I have worked to overcome my own shyness aka low self esteem and make friends or just be friendly.

Recently, though I have had two experiences that have really shaken me. I can hear the devil whispering in my ear telling me I'm not good enough for this person or that person. It's really difficult to get past my inhabitions as it is. Now with these experiences fresh in my mind, It's even more difficult to imagine I can make friends with someone.

The person that hurt me has no idea he hurt me. I have no plans to tell him. We'll just be acquaintances. I was really happy with myself for trying to become closer to him and he just wasn't interested. Honestly, I know it's no big loss to lose a friend that was never a friend. But, it's my new braver openness that is shaken. I am afraid of openning up to people. I always think they are annoyed by me, or just think I'm not worthy of them. Now the devil is reminding me of this every time I try to talk to someone.

I am not going to let that happen. I am hoping to begin a new friendship with someone. I think he just wants to use me. I know he doesn't really care about me. I am going to ignore those feelings and just try to be the person I know I am. A person who is worth knowing. A person with alot to offer any relationship.

So pray for me please. Thanks

Darn cookies!

2005-11-06T18:45:00.000-08:00

I really want to lose this weight! I exercised today. Yeah for me, but I also ate cookies for lunch, and cake for desert. WHY oh WHY can't I just say no?!?!
I feel so weak! I had all the resolve in the world this morning. I wanted to eat, so I exercised instead. Good job. Then later I make a cup of tea for my Sis and me and get us each cookies. I don't even think about it I just eat them! Then after dinner she says how bout some cake and I say no, then I go serve us up some cake!
I'm just lousy at this!
So the second day of the rest of my life didn't go so well. The third will go better. At least I did a work out and at least even though I ate that stuff I didn't eat as much as I could have. So please keep praying for me and I will let the mistakes I made today go into the mists and do better tomorrow.

Relax your eyes

2005-11-05T16:45:00.000-08:00

A Single Step

2005-11-05T14:05:00.000-08:00

Over the last few years I have lost 140 pounds. I have about 80 more to go though. But over the last year I have just not lost a thing. I haven't been able to get back into the mindset. I have let my food addictions overtake me. So I am going to talk about my weight alot more now and see if that doesn't help. I am in the right place again. I am on my way to finishing losing this stupid fat and being who I want to be.
Please pray for me. Thanks.
I need to find a way to exercise that I will enjoy and do regularly. Today I put my Pillar album in at work and danced like a crazy woman. It was so much fun. The clients thought I was insane. (maybe I am ha ha) The staff just laughed at me. But I need to find a way to exercise seriously. Anyone wanna buy me a gym membership?
Wish me luck and keep me in your prayers.

I swear this is the last puzzle! (for now)

2005-11-04T15:26:00.000-08:00

This is a difficult puzzle of one of my favorite pictures. this is Rob Beckley of Pillar. Pillar is an amazing rock band. If you haven't heard, you should give 'em a listen. I took this picture at a concert in September.

2005-11-04T14:33:00.000-08:00

Another puzzle for you. Imzadi (My Todd and I)

I hope this works.

2005-11-03T15:32:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure if this will work but It's worth a try. If it works you should be able to put a puzzle together.

I finally did it!

2005-11-01T05:38:00.000-08:00

Last night My nephew David andI went to Halloween horror nights at Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure. We had a really good time. We walked around the parks with several of his friends. The houses were really well done and there were several good scares.
The big news about last night though is this...
I, the worlds biggest weanie and roller coaster chicken, rode (drumroll please...) THE INCREDIBLE HULK! Yes! I did! Only David could've convinced me to ride it. I had plans to sonce my return from The Amazon but I hadn't had a chance and I knew that if I went with anyone else Iwould chicken out and not ride it. I was so scared before we got on the ride, I thought I was going to have a heart attack! But I loved it! I kept my eyes open for the majority of the ride and watched the land under me become the sky above me and had a GREAT time! I can't wait to ride it again.

My Brother

2005-10-31T04:01:00.000-08:00

My Brother came for a very short visit. He was able to make a quick stopover while driving and we got to see him. It was nice and I look forward to it happening more often. I hope He and his family decide to move here one day soon.

Nieces and Nephews

2005-10-30T16:41:00.000-08:00

Just had to post some pictures of some of the worlds most adorable kids. These are some of my nieces and nephews living in Ohio. I wish they lived here then I could just love on them ALL the time.

Gerard Butler

2005-10-30T01:58:00.000-08:00

I have decided I just have to talk about Gerard Butler. I am surprised to see many people don't know who he is. He is a Scottish born actor. I have such a huge crush on him. I fell in love with him when my friend and I went to see Dracula 2000. Wow! He had so much charisma. And let's just say it, He is very sexy! OK to be honest it was my friend that really thought he was all that originally. I thought he was great but for some reason I have a thing for vampires.(darn Anne Rice!) I always fall in like with actors that play vampires! When I saw him in Atilla though was when I went really mad for him.
A partial filmography, in no particular order is as follows:
Dracula 2000 as Dracula
Atilla as Atilla
Harrisons Flowers as Chris Kumak
Reign of Fire as Creedy
Lara Croft 2 Cradle of Life as Terry Sheridan
Timeline as Marek
Dear Frankie as the stranger
The Phantom of the Opera s the Phantom
Upcoming is Beowulf and Grendel as Beowulf
Also upcoming are 300 and Burns

I once bought a movie just because he was in it. Tale of the Mummy. I was ready to watch it and very excited. He died 5 minutes into the flick! I was so upset! But luckily I enjoy a really bad horror movie which is what Tale of the Mummy proved to be.

Not only is this man EXTREMELY good looking! He is an excellent actor.

Anyway, this is the only man I have ever written a fan letter to. When I think about him I get happy. I can't think about him without smiling.
I do know I am too old to crush on a movie star. But I don't care. I am single. I have no prospects of a man in my life. Having a crush is harmless. Plus LOOK at him! Who could help falling deeply in like with this man?!?!

Wonderfully made

2005-10-25T13:45:00.000-07:00

God is amazing and He loves each one if us so much. I am awed when I think of the magnitude of His love for me. Do you know that His thoughts of you are more numerous than the sands of a beach? It tells us that it Psalm 139. Which is one of the most amazing chapters in the Bible. That is just incredible! He thinks of me that much?! How much do I think of Him in a given day? Week etc. hmmm. He loves me anyway!
If you ever don't feel like you like yourself much or feel like no one cares about you. Read this Chapter and you will see just how much the Creator loves you.

I sing because I 'm happy

2005-10-24T12:33:00.000-07:00

Although it's still raining outside and there is a strong breeze, It seems like the worst of the weather is behind us. I feel so blessed that we didn't have to deal with this storm. Maybe it's the feeling of blessing that is just making me feel so joyful right now.
There was a lot of trepidation that Wilma would make one of those unexpected turns and come this way. (Charlie did it last year. All those people from Tampa left and came here for safety and it hit here instead.)
I do feel very badly for the people of South Florida. I know many were thinking that it wouldn't be that bad, or that they wouldn't be getting it. I know before the summer of 2004, I thought like that way concerning hurricanes. They weren't real to me. They happened to other places and if they did happen here they were just the "tail ends", never anything to worry about. This year, I thought every storm would be headed to Central Florida. But they can at least feel blessed that the destruction was not as terrible as it could have been. The power outages, debris, and building repairs are NOT fun to live with, but they are not permanent. I am still praying for them. I remember how difficult it was.
Well, anyway I just feel so blessed right now.
And tonight we are expecting cold weather! Praise God! I just LOVE the cooler weather. Tomorrow's high is only 69! I can wear some of my winter clothes! Woo Hoo!
So maybe it's the cold weather that has me feeling so happy and peaceful. When the rain is finally stopped, I am going to open the windows in my house and just enjoy it.

under the weather of Wilma

2005-10-24T10:40:00.000-07:00

It's still morning but everything seems so much calmer outside now. I think we won't feel the worst of it until the afternoon. I am not sure because I just can't bear to watch the news ALL day long. I just keep checking every now and then. But I am actually having a kind of relaxing day of reading.

Hurricane Wilma

2005-10-24T08:18:00.000-07:00

Well I am home alone right now. Both my Sister and my roommate are at work. Being in Orlando, I am not in the direct path of the storm. But the weather outside is still scary. There are tornados flying around out there. We are under tornado watches all day and they keep coming up with warnings. (or is it the other way around?)
I woke up at 4 am to the loudest thunder I can remember hearing. I haven't been able to go back to sleep. When I woke up I realized we didn't have batteries in case the power goes out. Obviously as I write this I have power but I just heard that people in Kissimee just lost power.
The rainfall is copious. Our front and back yards are flooded. There is thunder and lightning on a regualr basis. The wind is strong.
But Thank the Lord we are not in the real storm. So I am feeling blessed and praying for those going through it, and those that have been through it.
I am not worried. I know God is taking care of me. He is the Almighty I Am! He is in control. So I am not concerned. No matter wehat happens, I'll be taken care of by My Lord.
I am reminded though of last year after either hurricane Jean or Frances I spent the night alone in my house after returning from a couple of days at work (where I stayed during the hurricane). I stayed in my bedroom because our living room ceiling was on our living room floor. As I sat there alone and scared. More of the ceiling kept falling down. Water covered the floor. Insulation was everywhere. I didn't know what to do. Just being alone here now makes me think of that night. But God took care of me then and I am not afraid this time. After Todd got home form work we went and stayed at a Hotel at his workplace for a week. Then we moved in with our respective parents until we could move back home again.
Well with the weather as it is, I should turn off my computer. I will Post again after the weather clears.

Our God is an Awesome God.

2005-10-15T16:48:00.000-07:00

God is so wonderful. He has provide my every need, including lessons I needed to learn. He is so wonderful, beautiful, and Holy.
I am thankful for everything our Lord has given me, done for me and for what He hasn't given to me.

omigosh!

2005-10-07T15:04:00.000-07:00

I have been having the WORST couple of weeks. BUT today I checked my mail and there was a letter from overseas. It was from...(drum roll!) ... Gerard Butler! Omigosh! AND he sent an autographed picture!!! I am still hyperventilating!
OK I know he's just a person. But he's a person I admire, and think is an awesome actor and yes, just totally gorgeous! I am allowed to have a crush, I'm single. Don't judge me! I have nothing better to do with my emotions right now.

Just Whining

2005-10-03T05:59:00.000-07:00

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Just whining! There is a Pillar and Audio Adrenaline concert Sunday night in Clearwater and I WANT TO GO! I just don't want to go alone. I can't find anyone to go with me. Oh well life goes on right? Whine whine whine. whimper whimper whimper.
Ok I'm better now.

The Family Reunion

2005-10-02T13:32:00.000-07:00

We had our annual family reunion today. It was a nice time. It was good to see everyone. The reunions are the only time I see some of my family members.
I am so glad that we do this every year. Otherwise my own family would be strangers to me. I love each one of them and I am proud to be a part of this crazy clan.

A new Car!

2005-10-02T05:34:00.000-07:00

What a relief! I got a new (to me) car. No more 3 hour bus rides for the 20 minute drive home from work. Nomore making my sweet little Sis get up at 5 am to take me to work! Praise God! And thankfully I have wonderful parents who still help me out.

2005-09-25T08:32:00.000-07:00

I wanted to blog about something interesting today. I can tell you about different people I love. I have already told you about my Little Sister, I also have a little Brother and an older Sister both whom, I love very much. Ray has 5 kids Shawn, Ray, DJ, Felicia and Seritha and he's married to my very sweet sister in law Angie. The kids are all terrific.
Stacy has two great kids David and Cyndi, she's married to my brother in law Chris.
Then there are my parents. They are just the best! They are both witty, loving, good people.
I am really blessed to be in such a close family. We all love one another very much. Sadly that is not always the case in today's world.

car update

2005-09-25T08:27:00.000-07:00

I can't get my car fixed. It needs a new engine. So I guess I am hoping to trade it in for something else.

Ahhh!

2005-09-23T13:38:00.000-07:00

Ahhh! the relief of going to work. I am praying hard that somehow someone will look at my car find what's wrong and fix it for me. I am even praying that all this is done for free. (or the person is willing to wait for payment)
Why should a thing like a broken down car take up so much of my thought life?
Well it's not the end of the world. My problems are minute compared to people dealing with the hurricanes. Makes me feel like a whiny whimp when I complain about not having a car, some of these people don't have anything but the clothes on thier back.
Well, anyway, I hope to write happier more interesting things soon.

I am SO Bored!

2005-09-21T07:21:00.000-07:00

Without a car, I have been stuck at home. I haven't even been able to go to work. I am way past bored at this moment! Tomorrow I will get a ride with my sis, to work and take the bus home. But I am just so so so so so so so so so so so so bored right now. I can't stand this being stuck at home thing! I even cleaned my room and did all my laundry I am so bored. That was yesterday.
This guy who is supposed to look at my car still hasn't come to check it out. I am at his mercy, because he's doing me a favor, but still...
I was supposed to see my friend before she moved out of state and I couldn't because I had to wait for him to show up Monday. He didn't. He didn't come Tuesday either. He has not even called. I don't even know his name! Now it's Wednesday and I have given up hope that my car will get fixed at all. So I guess in addition to being bored, I am aggravated as well. GRRRRR ZZZZZ GRRRR ZZZZ

I need prayer

2005-09-18T09:22:00.000-07:00

I need prayer! My car borke down. I can't afford to fix it, I can't even afford to find out what's wrong with it. I am hoping it's something easy that my brother in law will be able to fix for me. I praise God that I will probably get the car towed for pretty cheap.
Until my car is fixed, I have no idea how I am going to get to work. I work 17 miles form home and no one who works with me lives near me.
So please pray for me and pass this on to your friends that pray.
God can be and is glorified even in the smallest things. Maybe we can't see God in the situation, but He always is there.
A broken down car doesn't seem a big deal to some people. To me it is a huge deal. I need my car.

My Little Sister

2005-09-14T13:23:00.000-07:00

I love my little sister Lani. How many people are blessed enough that thier sister is thier best friend? I am that blessed. She is a wonderful, funny, genourous, thoughtful, kind, beautiful person.
I don't know that many people look past her exterior to find out who she is. Well I am lucky enough to have done that. Her outer beauty is amazing enough. She has Gorgeous eyes, fantastic hair and a great smile. But her inner beauty is the best part. She feels things deeply. She is very sensitive.(She can cry over a dog food commercial) Her first desire is that the people around her are happy. She knows what she belives and refuses to copmpromise on the important stuff. She won't bother arguing with you over the little things.
I just needed to tell everyone how much I love my Lani. I am so happy that she is my sister, roommate and friend.

sad news

2005-09-12T21:38:00.000-07:00

My parents have a wonderful Dog named Molly. She is an Old English Bulldog. She's got a great personality. She assumes the entire worldloves her, and she is right. She not only wags her tail when she is planning on being pet but wags the whole back side of her body. She has been sick for a couple of weeks. After doing everything he could for her the vet decided euthanising her would be best.
She will be so missed! Everyone that met her fell in love with her. My parents and the rest of us are broken hearted.

My trip to The Amazon

2005-09-11T22:49:00.000-07:00

I recently returned from a missions trip to The Amazon in Brazil. I went with 21 amazing people. I met many more wonderful people on the trip. I can't stop talking about incredible the trip was. We went to the Satare-Maues. These tribal people are beautiful. I fell in love with them while I was there. They are in need of Jesus, just like the rest of us. They don't get much oppurtunity to hear about Him or see His love in action. They are used to being exploited. They have lived with superstion and tradition for a very long time. They have been a polytheistic people, and have a difficult time understanding a loving God. Our group from First Baptist Church of Orlando went with a group called Amore. We provided medical care, dental care, construction and vacation Bible school in the villages we visited. We lived on a boat, slept in hammocks, and had a great experience. I went on this trip wanting to help others, wanting to reach out to others with God's love. I got so much more out of this trip than I could have imagined. I am a changed person. Please pray for the Satare people and for the people from Amore and the work they do along the Amazon River.
If you ever want to talk to me about the trip, I love to talk about it.

2005-09-11T09:05:00.000-07:00

Just figured out how to add pics to my blog so I wanted to put a couple of pictures from Rock the Universe. I have to add that I think Rob Beckley from Pillar is really hot. The first two pics are of Pillar, Then Day of Fire's Joshua Brown. Then Jars of Clay. I suppose I should have put a picture of myself somewhere, but I already know what I look like, and you probably do as well.

I had a blast

2005-09-11T08:45:00.000-07:00

I went to Rock The Universe this weekend to see some of my favorite bands. It was such a good time! On the 9th I saw Day of Fire. They rocked so hard! It was great! I caught drummer Zach's broken drumstick. I also saw building 429 and Jars of Clay. Jars of Clay truly impressed me. Wow! There was alot of praising God.
On the 10th I saw Hperstatic Union. They only did a few songs I would have enjoyed more. Chris Tomlin played and he moved the crowd. Next was Pillar. When they came on stage I satarted smiling and it never left my face. They were amazing! I was jumping and head banging and really rockin'! I would have stayed for Third Day, I know they would have been really good, but, I am too old to be able to stand there for more than 4 and half hours and still rock and enjoy it. So I went home. But I had sucj a good time.