Love Love Love

Well I am amazed at how God is working in my life, not just everyday, but every moment. He is teaching me about love, and all that goes with it. I have never been in a relationship. I know very little about romantic love. But it's not romantic love I'm talking about. I know how to love a friend. but I don't know how to make a friend. I don't do well expecting or accepting love from others because I have not been very good at loving myself.

Over the past many months, The Lord has been telling me how much He loves me. I have been convicted that it is sinful to not love myself. After all God created me. It's quite an insult to say I'm not good enough. So I have allowed myself to let go of self-hate and love myself for the beautiful creation of God that I am. As I have done this, I am trying now to accept love and friendship from people around me. What a blessing!

I have always had a few very close friends and many acquaintances. but now my closest friend lives so very far away. I still have my precious bestest friend (I am doubly blessed that she is my sister) God has showed me that He has more in mind for me than the lonely existence I have been living. He has opened my eyes to the people around me. I've been missing out on all these beautiful souls around me.

I was so caught up in myself. A person told me recently she thought I was wrapped up in my own world. I was. I was always longing for someone to crack open my shell and discover me. It never occurred to me that I wasn't allowing anyone to come near me.

I never had a hard time giving love to others. I have always had a hard time receiving it.

Well anyway, as old as I am, I think I finally have it. I have always prayed that God's love would flow out of me to people around me. Now I want His Love and mine to flow out of me.

I feel like this is so discombobulated. It's so hard to explain. I am so happy. But more than happy, I truly feel God's Joy. I feel His Love more so than I ever have. I am in love with the people that I hope to soon call my friends. I am in love with the new life in front of me. I am in love with life. Mostly I am deeply in love with Jesus Christ.