verborhea
It's been awhile since I've blogged anything. I haven't wanted to do too many negative posts. I've been depressed lately and under mega stress. I am still under the stress, but things are looking a little brighter. I hope I have found a place to live. I just have to figure out how to come up with the money and hope that our applications are accepted.
Money seems to be my big issue. I need a gay sugar daddy. Ya know? He'll give me all the money I want, but all he'll want from me is a beautiful woman to be with when he needs a date.
Then there's the whole love issue. I always feel like people don't really like me or want me around. I think no one really wants me there they just put up with me. I'm the perpetual fifth wheel. I know that is just a feeling, it's not real, but hey feelings are feelings.
I was recently telling a friend a little bit of how I don't think I will ever be in a relationship. He was really nice and honestly cheered me up. He didn't give me too many platitudes and just let me know he is my friend. I was surprised because it's not often that anyone can cheer me when I am pitying myself about my single status. And I didn't really think he thought of me as much of a friend. To have him of all people let me know He's a friend, was nice. So anyway I am feeling a little better over all. I have the hopes of a place to live, I have the hope that one day I might have myself financially straight. ( I am really trying) and someone I can consider a friend.
Work at least is going well. I do feel like I am doing well there. I am going to get to go to the DDNA conference in April. I'll get the chance to learn a lot of DD related things, and hopefully carry those into my job.
My missions trip is forthcoming. I am so excited about that, and I am trying not to stress about the fact that I need $1965 more. God will provide it. There's no need to worry about that.
Really there's no need to worry about anything. God is in control! He will and does take care of me. He provides my every need.
I get really angry at myself for being depressed about all this. It's like I'm not trusting God. I do trust Him. I know he cares for me.
Ok enough of the pity party, enough of the silliness.
I'll be back soon with a much happier report.
Money seems to be my big issue. I need a gay sugar daddy. Ya know? He'll give me all the money I want, but all he'll want from me is a beautiful woman to be with when he needs a date.
Then there's the whole love issue. I always feel like people don't really like me or want me around. I think no one really wants me there they just put up with me. I'm the perpetual fifth wheel. I know that is just a feeling, it's not real, but hey feelings are feelings.
I was recently telling a friend a little bit of how I don't think I will ever be in a relationship. He was really nice and honestly cheered me up. He didn't give me too many platitudes and just let me know he is my friend. I was surprised because it's not often that anyone can cheer me when I am pitying myself about my single status. And I didn't really think he thought of me as much of a friend. To have him of all people let me know He's a friend, was nice. So anyway I am feeling a little better over all. I have the hopes of a place to live, I have the hope that one day I might have myself financially straight. ( I am really trying) and someone I can consider a friend.
Work at least is going well. I do feel like I am doing well there. I am going to get to go to the DDNA conference in April. I'll get the chance to learn a lot of DD related things, and hopefully carry those into my job.
My missions trip is forthcoming. I am so excited about that, and I am trying not to stress about the fact that I need $1965 more. God will provide it. There's no need to worry about that.
Really there's no need to worry about anything. God is in control! He will and does take care of me. He provides my every need.
I get really angry at myself for being depressed about all this. It's like I'm not trusting God. I do trust Him. I know he cares for me.
Ok enough of the pity party, enough of the silliness.
I'll be back soon with a much happier report.
posted by Donna at 3:46 PM
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